Philippians is a letter from Paul, a key leader in the early Christian movement, to the Christians in Philippi. Paul started this church 10 years earlier (see Acts 16), and has maintained an ongoing relationship with them. They have recently sent Paul a money gift that helps him carry on his ministry to Christians and seekers. This letter is a "thank you" note and much more, as we will see.
This letter is known as the "joy letter." Paul uses the noun "joy" five times and the verb "rejoice'' eight times, and the entire letter exudes an attitude of joy. Given the tone of the letter, we might expect Paul to be vacationing on some Greek island, relaxing every day, or having some other enjoyable experience. But the opposite is true! He is imprisoned in Rome, chained to Roman guards, and awaiting trial and possible execution for a crime he didn't commit! Paul's joy is very different from the definition of happiness that some ascribe to.
In the English language, "Happiness" derives from the word "happen" or "happenstance," and refers to the pleasant feelings that come from favorable circumstances. I usually feel happy on vacation because I am where I want to be, with the people I like being with, doing the things I like to do. There is nothing wrong with this – happiness is a blessing from God. But since happiness is dependent on favorable circumstances, it is extremely fragile. And those who build their lives around it get caught in a futile attempt to control their circumstances or a continual search for better circumstances. Pursuing it is therefore not a wise goal for your life.
"Joy," as it is used in this letter, is not just a feeling, although it does involve your feelings. It is related to peace and hope – a deep-rooted sense of well-being that God grants us as we trust in Him (see Romans 15:13). Therefore, it is independent of your circumstances, and you can have it even when you are unhappy about your circumstances (see 2 Corinthians 6:10a).
So, as we study this letter, let's keep an eye out for keys to joy. The next paragraph introduces us to one of these keys.
In Philippians 1:3-8, notice the connection between Paul's joy (1:4) and his relationship with the Philippians (1:3,7,8). His Christ-centered relationship with them is the reason for his joy (read 4:1a).
Paul would not have been surprised at the findings of the Harvard Study of Adult Development. It has studied 724 men over the past 75 years – by far the longest study of its kind. The men came from widely different backgrounds. Harvard students, inner-city, poor, etc. The study has interviewed them every two years regarding their personal information, family members, medical tests and records, and so on.. They are seeking to identify factors that correlate with happiness, as defined more like "joy" above. The fourth director of the study, Robert Waldinger, summarized their findings this way:
"Wealth, fame, and career success do not correlate with true happiness…Good relationships keep us happier and healthier – period."
Having many social connections, instead of isolation, warm and affectionate relationships, instead of alienation or bitterness, and securely-attached relationships instead of always moving on from relationships, were the key relational factors that predict significantly greater happiness.
Waldinger says that Americans want to be happy as much as anyone, but they look for it in the wrong places, such as wealth, fame, career, or success; they want quick-fixes for their unhappiness.
Does this sound familiar? Harvard could have saved a lot of money by studying Philippians!
Christians have a unique resource for building relationships that contribute to joy. Paul calls it "the affection of Christ" (1:8) or "the affection that comes from Christ." When you receive Christ, you gain access to His deep love for you, and His love can flow through you and out to others. In John 7:37, Jesus loudly invites people who are thirsty to come to Him and drink – to experience the complete satisfaction of our deepest thirsts in Him.
As we continue to receive His love and give His love to others, we experience deepening joy. In John 15:10-12, Jesus describes how remaining in His love fills us with His joy, and how His joy will be made complete when we love others as He has loved us.
Let us take a closer look at what characterized Paul's Christ-centered relationship with the Philippians that resulted in joy. There are three features in this passage that apply to all of our key relationships with other Christians, such as our spouse, our children, our church members, the people we are discipling, etc...
Re-read verses 1:3-5. His joy is connected to their "participation in the gospel from the first day until now." "Participation" is koinonia, which means "to share in common" or "to be in partnership." Re-read 1:7; "partakers" is sugkoinonos, which means "joint partners." Ever since the Philippians received Christ, they have partnered with Paul in spreading the good news about God's grace to other people. They did this by sharing Christ with people in Philippi, and by contributing financially to Paul's church-planting ministry. This ten-year joint partnership filled Paul with great joy!
It is not hard to see that serving a greater cause together is essential toward relational bonding, which in turns leads to joy. Conversely, relationships that focus solely on enjoying one another eventually go bad, become unhealthy, or even end. But when a key part of our relationship is being a team and serving others, such as family, friends, church, or community, this brings an added dimension that we were designed to have and enjoy.
These things are especially true of Christ-centered friendships. When we only seek out relationships with other believers for the sake of gaining something or having certain needs or expectations met, we will inevitably be disappointed and wrongly conclude that we need to move on from those relationships and seek out new ones elsewhere. But when we relate as team-members to give Christ's love to others through encouraging and supporting one another, reaching out to non-Christian friends, praying for others, serving together to meet practical needs, etc. God's Spirit fills us – and one of His fruits is joy (Galatians 5:22). Over time, this joy deepens as we accumulate experiences of serving together, seeing God work through us to impact others for His glory, and sometimes,even seeing people respond to Him.
Do you make serving others a priority in your key Christian relationships? If you have unsatisfying relationships, this omission is likely a key reason.
How much joy do you want?
In Philippians 1:4-6, Paul's joy is also connected to his confidence in God's commitment to transform their lives into increasing Christ-likeness. This is "the good work" in 1:6, and Paul will describe it in more detail in 1:9-11.
God begins this good work when we receive Christ. At that moment, God permanently unites us with Christ, so that we receive both His righteous standing before God and His Spirit.
God continues this good work throughout our Christian lives. His Spirit constantly imparts both the motivation and power to please God (2:13) and transform our characters (Galatians. 5:22-23). We can block God's transformation, but we cannot stop Him from initiating it. This is why, for the rest of our lives, there is always hope, no matter how big our problems are or how much we have messed up.
God will complete this good work when Christ returns. The moment we see Him, we will be transformed to be fully like Him in character and body (see Colossians. 3:4; 1 John. 3:2).
So, a key to Christian relationships that result in joy is focusing on and believing in God's commitment to grow our friends.
We do not naively "believe in them" because they — like we — are deeply broken and sinful; we believe in the God who is at work in both them and us.
We do not take responsibility to change them; we cooperate with the God who takes responsibility to change each of us.
When we have this focus, we can be realistic while also hopeful – and therefore, patient and persistent with one another long-term. Such relationships often mature into a mutual sense of joy.
In his book The Fullness of Christ, Sri-Lankan pastor and teacher Ajith Fernando writes,
"Paul had learned the discipline of looking at people through the lens of God's grace . . . (For many Christians) the dominant approach to life (is) that . . . 'people are bad.' And because of that they see bad in people. That's not the biblical lifestyle. The biblical lifestyle is that where sin abounds, grace super-abounds. If you are . . . thrilled by grace, you recognize (His) grace (at work) in another person. And this recognizing of grace in others is one of the keys to joy in our lives."
Do you cultivate this focus in your relationships, or do you focus on their flaws, short-comings, and disappointments?
Do you pray for them along these lines — first affirming this and then thanking God for evidence of it — or do you mainly have angst and complain about them to God?
Do you remind them of this promise, recount evidence of it in them, counter their discouragement with this, or do you tolerate or even agree with their self-negativity?
Paul begins by telling the Philippians how often he thanks God for them (1:3), and he ends by telling them that God knows the affection he has for them (1:8). Imagine how it affected the Philippians to hear Paul say: "You are an important and a positive part of my relationship with God!" Talking to God about them in this way gave Paul joy (1:4), and telling them that he talked to God about them this way gave him more joy!
Paul begins all of his letters this way, except for Galatians and 2 Corinthians. He is not engaging in flattery in order to manipulate the recipients. Nor is he being unnecessarily optimistic, because he is still willing to address problems and challenges. He does this because it is true— he really has found evidence of God's work in their lives, he really has thanked God for this evidence, and he completes the circle by telling them about the evidence for which he thanks God.
Here is a powerful habit that helps to build healthy, Christ-centered friendships that lead to increasing joy. This is not complicated; you do not need to be a master in relationships to do this. You can express your appreciation directly and simply by saying, “I appreciate the way you…”. You can tell them, just as Paul does, that you thank God for them. You can express appreciation to God as you pray with them. You can speak positively about them and how thankful you are to them to others.
What hinders us from practicing this and modeling it to others? Do any of these answers sound familiar?
