Be Strengthened: Maintain Close Christ-Centered Friendships

Many passages show the importance of Christ-centered friendships for Paul: 

• He introduces himself with another friend in the first verse of 1 and 2 Corinthians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, and Philemon.  Only in general letters (Romans and Ephesians) and in a crisis letter (Galatians) does he omit this reference to his friend.
• Note that being left alone in Athens was the last resort for him (1 Thessalonians 3:1).
• Note his consistent use of “we” and “us” in 2 Corinthians 2:14-6:13.
• Note how God comforted him in his depression and fears through Titus (2 Corinthians 7:5,6).
• Note how much he longed to see Timothy even though he was not alone (2 Timothy 1:2-4; 4:9,21).

Close Christ-centered friendship is not a luxury; it is a stewardship responsibility.  

I cannot run this long race without the strengthening grace that God provides through close, Christ-centered friendships.  I can put up with almost anything if I have God’s support through these friendships; I am easily taken out otherwise.  This is the conviction that enables us to maintain these friendships with a good conscience in the face of other ministry demands.

Since the people we lead need this, modeling these kinds of friendships is an important part of spiritual leadership.

Investing in close friendship is not contradictory to multiplying house churches; it is complementary. Where possible, we stay together when we plant house churches, and work hard to raise up new leadership teams.

Where not possible, we build new friendships, and we choose to keep our closest friendships even though we are no longer in the same house church.  We give up time for other things (e.g., entertainment) and we get creative (e.g., taking vacations together; exercising together; doing chores together; live in close proximity to one another) in order to nurture these friendships.

What elements should characterize these friendships? 

• Regular time (preferably at least weekly)
• Sharing what we’re learning personally about our sin (and fears), God’s grace, and loving God and others
• Loyalty, encouragement and appropriate challenge: Jonathan encouraged David in God (1 Samuel 24:15-18).  He reminded him of God’s promises, affirmed his commitment to David, interpreted David’s opposition spiritually, prayed with him, and exhorted him to go on trusting God.
  
• Prayer with and for one another
• Laughter and enjoyment

If you are married, you and your spouse should be best friends!  Don’t live parallel lives!  When the kids are gone, will you be living with your best friend?

Be Faithful: Champion Evangelism

House church leaders do not have to be gifted in evangelism, but we do need to be faithful to build outreach into the ethos of our house church.  One key way to do this is to be an outreach champion.  How can we do this?  Paul shows us several ways to do this in Philippians 1-2 and elsewhere:

• Express genuine excitement about their recent efforts to advance the gospel (Philippians 1:3-5; 1 Thessalonians 1:7,8).  This encouragement communicates that God is pleased and counteracts Satan’s discouragements.
• Share your own recent experiences in sharing your faith, emphasizing God’s part (Philippians 1:12,13).  Are you in the game?  Share your failures and mistakes as well as your victories and positive responses.
• Report and rejoice in advances of the gospel through other imperfect Christians (Philippians 1:14-18).  Some ways to do this include regularly sharing conversion stories from your house church with the group through email, organizing an event to baptize and celebrate new Christians, and sharing news and statistics about the advancement of the Gospel around the world.
• Challenge them be good witnesses and remind them of God’s promise to help them (Philippians 2:12b,13 may be about this and it emphasizes God’s part; Philippians 2:14-18 calls them to be lights in word and deed in everyday life). 
• Esteem those who make sacrifices to advance the gospel (Philippians 2:22,29,30)
• Lead the way in consistent prayer for open doors and for specific lost people. (2 Thessalonians 3:1; 1 Timothy 2:1-4; Colossians 4:3-4).
• Facilitate outreach as a house church through parties, dinners, and other social activities. These provide opportunities for people who don’t know Jesus to interact with the Body of Christ.

Are you faithful to do this kind of (largely behind-the-scenes) work to promote an ethos of evangelism?  When done motivated by God’s grace and for his glory, God works powerfully through you to impart this foundational value to the people you lead.

Ministry As A Means Of God’s Grace

Ministry is a key avenue of experiencing God’s grace!  As God’s love “reaches its goal” by going into us and through us to others, we experience his love in greater measure (1 Jn. 4:16-18).  Otherwise, God’s love will rot within us. The Dead Sea cannot sustain life because water that flows in has no outlet, creating high levels of salinity in the water.  Similarly, if we only look to receive God’s love, but never allow God’s love flow out to others, we’ll find our spiritual life begin to decay. If you really believe this, you will seek to mobilize your people for ministry out of love for them and for God’s glory.  

What should we do if our house church is experiencing little outreach?  We need to help people serve, even during times of little outreach activity, or they will become unhealthy from lack of outward-oriented service. We need to affirm the New Testament’s emphasis on diverse, every-member ministry by:

• Helping our people see their ministry strengths and passions.
• Affirming their freedom and responsibility to use them to serve.
• Helping them find concrete, consistent ministry roles. The ability of leaders to mobilize the giftedness of everyone in the church is a major factor in the church’s success in mission.  Help people in your house church find areas of gifting, and concrete ways to utilize that gifting regularly. For example, some churches have ministries that help with home and auto repairs, or provide meals to low-income children, or provide basic medical services. Each of these roles require unique giftings, and good leaders will help people discover and apply these giftings.
• Measuring our house church’s mobilization. It’s important to measure the extent to which people are engaged in outward service, rather than just measuring attendance.
• Praying for these ministries in our house church prayer meeting.

If your house church has lost this ethos, what can you do to regain it?  

• Preach, teach, and exhort that ministry is a means of grace!
• Challenge individuals to repent of selfishness and embrace a serving mindset, and help them find a concrete outward-oriented ministry role.
• Do not include established Christians in leadership roles if they are unwilling to find a concrete outward-oriented ministry role.
• Do your best to mobilize your people in ministry, even if there is little or no current harvest!  Why should God add hungry souls to us if we aren’t helping our people become givers?

If God wants your house church to multiply (and he probably does), he will give you people who are willing and able to lead house churches.  Pray for them and look for them – they are the ones who are already serving, without a leadership title.  Remember the priority of godly character (1 Timothy 3), and utilize various structures to help them develop. Encourage them to engage in classes, if available, that will ground them in sound theology and principles of Christian leadership. Engage them in one-on-one time to help develop character, to coach them in ministry, and to pray together.

Do this in faith, even if there is little or no current harvest!  Why should God add hungry souls to us if we aren’t preparing people to lead and care for them?